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This month holds special significance to me. Most importantly i was baptized April 1 2000 but it was not april fool's joke! I was as serious as a heart attack! Also, it was in April of 2001 that i had my first BC after about 8 months relaxer free, which sent me home crying! I was soooo not ready and she was soooooo scissor happy. It was also in April of 2002, that i took down some corn rows and felt so frustrated wit my hair that i literally decided in 5 minutes after 18 months relaxer free to relax my hair again, bad decsion! It turned out nice and looked good for a while but was not the answer to my problems. Now, I know that beauty radiates from with in and that if you do not feel love and see beauty in yourself you will never believe that anyone else could! You live and you learn, right?
Also, I have been keeping a journal consistently for over a year now, may dad encouraged me to, he hasn't missed a day writng in 7 years! I encourage everyone to keep a journal even its not that regular. You would be amazed at how pen and paper can help you to save precious moments and see your own personal growth in years to come!
Right now I REALLY should be studying for finals but I find it very hard to concentrate on my books now. Does that make me burnt out? Yep, I think so.
I was suppose to BC this months but postponed it. Its better thatn deciding to relax again, lol. But I do plan to wear my hair out a little in between braids and I will post pics of that.
Almost considered getting a realxed looking weave, but kinda feel like I wiil be regressing even if I am growing out my hair underneath. I may do it for my mom's wedding cuz I don't want to wear braids and with the way my hair is growing out, no transitioner's style will do, so I might then. I am paranoid that feelin all cute and purty in bouncy straight hair that ain't even mine will only make me want to relax or wish my hair was like that rather than increase my desire for natural hair. Who knows, we shall see, jus need to make sure my mind is right before I try that.......I am trying to redefine my idea of beauty not return to the old.
So I have had my braids out for about 3 weeks or so I guess and I am really feeling my hair! The best thing is that everyone already thinks I am natural and in general are loving my hair too! I have never ever gotten so many compliments on my hair before! I would like to experiemnt with more styles but since I prefer to style my hair myself and had a really bad experience and a late and frustrating night trying out new styles a week or so ago............i kinda don't feel up to the experimentation right about now. Wearing your hair natural is really a large reflection upon your personality. I have gotten a lot fo positve feed back surprisingly from brothers who are digging my originality. So right about now I am planning to go back to the braids pretty soon because doing my hair takes up so much time and I haven't mastered any other styles really. This summer I have ALOT going on. I am working 2part-timejobs, going to summer school, studying 2gain take the DAT,and applying to dental school [Wish me the best!].But I am thinking maybe kinky twists rather than micros...atleast for the summer. About my BC? Good question, I am really in no rush and I would like more length but since my hair grows s slowly I dunno when I will achieve the length I want. Braids have been a good way for me to focus on other things besides being worried about the pace of my hair growth.Okay thats enough rambling for now, jus letting you guys know where I am at. Its been nice having updates for you guys and when i get braids again I will miss that the most.....Until next time....ciao!
Not much to relate. My signature stlye has gotten tired on me and i think is about to jus quit! I dunno what I am going differently but it looks much frizzier than it use to. I still have not gottten into a good routine of washing my hair. There seems to be a build up of product near my scalp so maybe i need to abandon the no-poo for a while. In Miami this past weekend my hair was a hit and so was the flower but I need a new flower because this one has jus gotten plain tired,lol. I din't think i could sweat out this tyle but after a few hours the roots began to jus swell,lol.I realy want to color my hair I think it would cool but I am too afraid of damaging my hair.
The end of this month will make 1 years since my last relaxer! I can't believe its been that long! My hair grows kinda slow so I know I won't have 6 inches of new growth but this year seems to have jus flown by! It seems like only yesterday I was debating over whether to relax or not and having no clue what to do next. Then I discovered nappturality.com and the rest is history I guess.
Oh! This past week I needed a quick fix for my hair and not having time to wash and set it i opted to straighten it using one of these new ceramic flat irons. I was surprised at the length and how much hair I had on my head cuz it had been practically a year since I wore my hair straight. But it didn't get my hair straight enough so I still could not comb through it easily.....it jus looked like i had a relaxer but needed a touch-up, lol. Didn't think to take a pic largely because I am jus not too crazy about wearing my hair straight....i have gotten use to and like the texture and free-form shape of nautal hair. Okay, that is enough rambling.......i will likely hit back when i hit one year, ciao!
Wow I can't believe i made it! One year ago I was thinking of going natural alright...years in the future when I had a husband so I wouldn't have to worry about scaring off ny prospectives in the mean time. Oh, such foolish thinking!!!! Then I didn't feel like getting a relaxer yet so I was holding off. Then I happpend to type in nautral hair on yahoo and stumble upon Nappturality and so began my love affair! A love affair with nappturality! No awesome stats to report, my hair grows pretty. I have gottenout of the habit of measuring (cuz its depressing) and jus guess-stamite that its barely more than 4 inches....yeah i know but its growing in wondefully natural state and that swhat most important so all those other sisters who also have hair that grows like a snail keep ya head up!Ironically I am about to get braids tomorrow, the kinky twist kind. Cuz I have been wearing my hair out for 2 months but my permed ends are breaking off left and right and I am tired of dealing with two textures but not ready to BC. I thought I would experiment with the twist because the texture is more nautral than the silky straight braids I had been wearing and once again everyone will be use to me wearing "natural-ish" styles. I also chose a color that is more like a light brownish so I can play with wearing color since I am too scared to color my own.
TOday was pretty ordinary. I put in my application to my top choice dental school, talk about a relief!!!!! Okay, thats enough for now, I will post pics of my twist soon!
My kinky twiat are a hit but I am kinda worried about my edges.I guess I am the type to always be worried about something though. But at lest I don't have to worry about washing and detangling my hair. What a head ache! Still in no rush to BC,lol. Might as well I guess but I dunno, still kinda scared. I am also scared to press! Right now I am jus busy studying for the DAT and getting all my applications together besideds the volunteer ministry I am always involved in. Well I hope everyone had a great summer and I wish you all the best, ciao!
I almost let this month slip by! What a crazy week! I have 2 quzies, homework, an exam, and i am taking the DAT friday! YIKES!!!!!!! BUt I have already had one interview at our state dental school!!! I am hoping for the best ya'll! I still find myself taking down twist here and there, cutting my permed ends, and playing with my inches of natural growth. Its such a distraction for me when I should be studying!!! I am fascinated by it, its so soft, and so different from my relaxed ends that are jus barely hanging for dear life,lol. I dunno I guess I have about 5-4 inches all over, give or take. Even though I sometimes think it "should" be longer, i am for the most part jus excited at the growth i have experienced so far and am soooooo glad I chose to chronicle this journey! Ya see, when I was relaxed it seemed near impossible to grow out my hair cuz it was always breaking, thinning and needing to be cut even though I didn't use heat and tried to take care of it. I think i convinced myself that my hair jus would not grow! So you can see why this is such an exciting journey for me!
I plan to take out these twist very soon but will I BC? I may have to cuz like i said my permed end are are barely hanging on but the thought of debuting my new natural hair on campus which will be pretty short is a bit intimidating.....well, really intimidating, i keep thinking that when my natural hair is longer it will be easier and thats why i continue to transition and put off the big BC but i know that is faulty reasoning..................i jus need time I guess.....sorry for the ranting......there is a lot going on up in the mind of HONESTY, ciao!
Can ya believe it? Honestly I was jus scared before. Of what you may ask? Well of the unknown I guess. I didn't how it would look and was still holding to the bad experience i had last time around cuz i had no clue what i was doing and was simutaneously dealing with some personal issues as well, and i guess kinda afraid of reliving that again. Not only had my first go around at nappturality been been a trying a experience becasue of a lack of knwledge but i was also going through somethings and my being natural at that time caused me to associate that time with being natural. Let's jus say the reasons I held off the BC were kinda deep, k?
Oddly I didn't put my thought into, i jus decided i didn't feel like hanging on to these permed ends, stopped what i was doing, and went and found my scissors. I really didn't think about it cuz i knew if i didn't i would punk out again.
During the process, i was doubtful cuz i twisted it immediately and didn't like them but when i took down my twist and picked it into a fro I fell in love!!!!!!!!! It was so surreal to see myself ALL natural. Something I had longed for for soooo long........i felt so BADD (in a good way) and couldn't get over this beautiful kinky mass on my head! I don't think I ever been so happy that i didn't think something through,lol, otherwise i would be still dealing with those 2 textures.
It may be a corny anology and maybe i speak too soon but my experience reminds me of falling in love. Some people want love sooo badly but when it is right at their finger tips there are afraid to give themselves over to it for so many different reasons. But falling in love involves surrendering you heart and enjoying the moment. Well I have I have surrendered to nappturality and i am determined to enjoy every moment, every second, every day! Thank you all for your encouragment and support!
I have been "all" natural for about a month now, and it has really been a great experience. I am learning my hair, and it has not been as time consuming as i thought, which is good cuz i am very busy. Most of my compliments come from guys, i get looks all the time, and i am having the time of my life so far. There has not been one moment that i did not like my hair only times when i didn't know what ot do with it,lol. Some times i wear my hair out in a twist out from and look in the mirror and think "whoa! thats a lot of hair on your head"and i am very satisfied with the length of my hair as well but wearing my hair natural is still so surreal to me. Every time i step out i feel like i am making a statement and showing people all that nautral hair can be.......stylish and trendy! It can also be polished and professional. Natural hair is all that you decide it to be, there are no situations when it is not appropriate or professional, thats all in our own heads. I jus hope I am changing minds or least opening a few.......regardless, i am doing my thig and enjoying myself if i might say so myself!
I didn't know if anyone ever even read these entries and i have been pretty busy lately so after keeping a steady journal for like 4-5 months i have MIA since October but I'm backkkkkkk and hopefull for good! So in November i was accepted to Dental school and i was excited and scared athe same time, i know the work will be very demanding and i jus hope i can meet the challenge with out it taking over my life. See, thats the thing, people expect me to let work or school be my life but i never want that becasue that is not where i find my true joy, i find joy in giving back to my community and sharing bible truths with others, i can not tell you how fulfilling it is! But some people who do not realize how important my faith is to me expect me to jus put those interests on the back burner but i can't forget MAtt 6:33 and hope i never do that.
I am still enjoying the journey but have been jus so busy, distracted, stressed, etc lately.But i realize that if you don't have fun along the journey (by experimenting, and etc) you won't enjoy it....duh right? During my transition i focused on more than new growth of my hair, i was intent on mental growth as well and developing myself as an individual, who i am am and what i see as beautiful rather than allow society to define beauty for me, and now i want to continue that process so that i can get the most out of every moment of this journey. I am still sooooooo glad i went natural, its so liberating and makes me feel free and like I am making a statement about who i am and how i see the world everytime i walk out the door. I feel like a trend setter and its gets me more attention too, gotta luv that! Anywayz, thats all for now guys, for those of you who are experiencing discouragement... keep ya head up, realize that relaxing will not jus fix everything (trust me i learned the hard way!) and that the biggest obstacle we must overcome is our minds. Its so true! The choice is yours, and although we all experience discouragemnt,if you decide that you are determined to LOVE this journey, LOVE your hair, and LOVE yourself .....there is nothing that can stop you! Remember ladies you are beautiful, naturally beautiful!!!!!
4 months guys and going strong! I am really lazy with my hair and should do better but my protective styles from last month i think did wonders! I should do it again but for some reason i feel so un-cute in twist, we shall see. My experiences so far? Too many to recount. I get compliments and looks and i must say its nice.But you can't please everyone. Thats why you have to please yourself most importantly. Everyone may not be as in love with my hair as i am but i could care less. I was much more self conscious about my hair when it was relaxed! Seems like going natural has givin me a much strongner since of whom i am and who i am not, and if you can not deal with, please step to the side! I am less concerned with fitting an image of what people expect to me and more focused on jus doing my own thing. It hard to describe but i wouldn't trade it for the world.
Alot of things are on my mind lately, some of them involving my hair. For example, how will i fit my hair under my graduation cap? What about my senior pics? I don't know we shall see. I am afraid to press my hair to be honest with you but don't want to wear extensions, a wig or braids either. Lately i have though pressing it at for graduation and wearing it natural for my portraits so that much is in the air right now.
I guess i am jus kinda rambling right now but i jus wanted to touch base! Much luv and remember to try to always to be happy with who you are, self love must be your first love.
I have been keeping an album for a year now? How time flies! THis time last year i was worried about my hair not growing as fast as i would like and scared to BC and look at me now! We all have come along way! So I am going to The dominican republic and ecuador to preach this summer before starting dental school. I have decide on braids for graduation and this summer for multiple reasons. For graduation I don't have style I want to wear under my cap and and DO NOT want to press. For this summer we will be with out many modern conviences and I have no idea what to expect so I thought braids would be convenient. Since I am leaving shortly after graduation and will hav emany things to get done i decided to go ahead and get my braids before graduation. So that how it happened. I am kinda afraid of like the braids breaking my hair off or something, it happened before but was realxed then, and then again, they halped me grow my hiar out alot when i was transitioning so hopefully come August, I will still have a nice head of hair! Also when i start dental school i am anticipating being extremely busy and stressed and have contemplated at least starting out in braids and seeing how it goes but I already know I would mis smy hair 2 death so that may not work out...............guess we will ju shave to see! On to other issies of nappturality...
SOmetimes I wonder if my hair shapes other people impression of me, and at the same time i feel defiant. SOme guys are so ignorant about hair! No one has given me flack but my hair is one thing that is not changing so they can get over that. I guess I have become some what defiant and unapologetic,about who i am and what i am about. My hair is only a reflection of that! I recently got back from a trip to NYC and everyone with was realxed of course, I had a blow out but quickly washed and wore a natural style cuz i DO NOT want to look like everyone else! I've gotten to use to standing out, catching looks, I guess it has spoiled me! Do I see myself natural forever? Yep! Would I love to see everyone do the same? Yep! But until then I enjoy being that "natural" girl that stands out in a crowd! And i actually look forward to one day IF (and thats a big if) I have kids, having a kinky haired cocoa baby and teaching her to luv the skin she's in! Jus the idea brings a smile to my face!
I keep forgeting to write entries! And i had so much time on my hands this past summer! I wish so much i could convey to you how much i enjoyed this past summer. In the states we think we have it so good because our lives are more comfortable, but in reality we stand in the way of our own happiness by thinking that material things, big house,fine care, etc, are the fruits of happiness. There in Ecuador and the dominican, life was so much less complicated..... in the dominican they took a two hours siesta every week day. Wives would go home to cook, and husbands would leave work or close their shops to go eat with their families. PEople had so much less, but were jus as content if not happier! I greatly enjoyed the ministry, and i now want ot go back and preach there for at least year, once if inish dentl school that. Now dental thats another story. The lines of competition unfortunately fall along racial lines and i really hate that. People keep warning us how competitive and cut throat it is and all ic an think is, whay can't we jus get along? I was expecting my class to be more well rounded and open minded but i could tell that when i walked in with a fro they didn't know what to say, and their interactions with me were very awkwaerd. Is my hair enough to ake them feel uncomfortable? I guess since I am in professional school maybe they feel it is unappropriate but they can get over it, its new age, they need to catch up. But i am realizing that certain styles are not appropriate in cetain situations which i guess is true even for some relaxed styles as well. I dare to think i am the first natural to go to this dental school, hopefully there will be more to follow.
I am also approaching or maybe already passed the two year anniversary of my last relaxer. Can't believe it. Oddly, i am not very concerned with whether my length is up to par but more concerned withte health of my hair. For instance, my hair shed SO much after the microbraids. What was i thinking? NO more glue to me? BUt rather than being so upset at the braider i am only thinking of what i can do to restor the health of my hair. BEing natural has totally changed my perspective. When you get caught up in length i think miss the treasures of being anppy becasue you are so focused on what you are lacking. In other words after two years my hair is not super long but it sooooooo much healthier than when relaxed and i fill much more comfortable in my own skin,a feeling that is priceless.
Well one of you ladies was kind enough to remind me that you appreciated my journals and it has been about a year since my last entry so i though it wouldn't hurt to write again. We have been in school now for about 3 weeks an dits back into the grind. We have national boards in december. Its a comprehensive exam that all dental students in their secind year must take to demonstrate compentency and that they have sufficiently mastered the coursed worked covered up to the point. Most schools give their second year students time off to study for this exam, my school doesn't they expect us to use our summer break ( yeah......sure) and our "free" time outside of a full course load. One word of advice i will give to all interest in professional school, really investigate the progam and ho wit is organized don't be swayed by scholarships, you are dealing with the next four years of your life! So look for a school that is student oriented.....not a dictatorship. Do i sound bitter? Sorry, about that, it leaks out sometime an dis a runniong joke amongst my firends, lol. So that what i have up against me.And i will succeed. I think my classmates are realizing that i am just different but i still don't think they know how to tak eme and that cool too. I went to the DR this past summer and as always i loved the DR but learned a lesson about love, one that will hopefully always stay with me and that is to never second guess your instinct and remember that dating should be the fun part before the complications of married life so if its not fun, RUNNNN! I did, lol. Right now as far as my hair goes i am only concerened with maintaing tits health and regaining thickness, so i giving myself generous trims and keeping my hair relatively the same length........well class is ending i will let you go until next time
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