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I have been contemplating going natural since early 2009. Many things have transpired in my life over of course of a few years and as a result my hair has not been a priority in my life. Seemed like it was easier to conform to what society says is beautiful than to be happy in the skin I was born in. A few months ago. I started to think about it again briefly. I was reaching my breaking point. Tired of relaxing my hair and not seeing the results that I believe my hair can achieve. I am tired of the money spent and wasted on weaves and hair pieces. Etc. I was really starting to feel like a slave to my hair. Last month my mother mentioned to me that she had an extra perm if I wanted it. LOL, her suttle attempt at letting me know it was time for a retouch. I told her no because i was thinking of cutting off my permed hair. She gave me that look that said, " girl please!" Tonight I'm sitting here surfing the internet and looking at natural hairstyles and reading blogs on transitioning. The blogs gave me the courage and determination to do it. THE BIG CHOP!!! It is official as of September 21,2012 I am as nature intended. NATURAL! lol, I feel as though I have taken off my mask. I'm free!
For those veterans that may some day read my journal I know that I may sound green in the beginning, but i trust that from your own esperience and soon to be my own that it is indeed a hair journey. I know there will be bumps and bruises along the way, but I will learn from my mistakes and grow. Not only grow my natural hair but will also transition my way of thinking about my hair as well as my overall phyiscal appearance. Mid Friday morning I said to my mother, " I did it!" lol, she said," Did what?" I told her that I cut off all my hair. My hair was still wrapped up and she could not view the damage but as a result allowed her imagination to run wild. She said, " If you were still a child I would whoop your butt for that!" I was like wow and my feelings were sligtly hurt. For the majority of the day she was pretty short with me. I'm thinking to myself I can not believe her attitude about "MY" hair. SMH, I was actually starting to feel a bit down because I was excited and so happy about my choice. It would have been nice to have someone else that loves me celebrate with me. Later that evening my sister came over to visit. I removed my head wrap and to my surprised my mother began to sing my praises...lol, She loved it!!! She said, " I like this better than any hairstyle that you have worn including the braids with extenstions." My sister was pleasant about it. She herself is not really into the natural hair movement (Lol), but she knows that it is important to me and she supports my choice.
I was invited to a birthday party today. This was going to be my first time out in public as a natural. I began to fear the dreaded "I can't believe you cut off your hair!" or " Why would you do that?" I did not want to have to explain myself or have too much attention directed to my hair. So, I pulled out a wig and put it on. The entire time that I am trying to finish getting ready for the party I kept having to tug on the wig to get it in place. I thought to myself you know this is one of many reasons you decided to make the transition. I tossed the wig and went out of the house for the first time as a natural. Whoop whoop!