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I slept today
I slept all day
Till dreams no longer came
I drank a glass
I drank some more
And yet it felt the same
The sunset bloomed
In useless high
As useless as the table
On which I sat
One day to die
But, pity, was unable
It wasnt passion
That destroyed
The remnants of the mind
There was a love
A quick goodbye
But all was left behind
I laughed a bit
I cried all night
Theatrically staged moan
It didnt help
I woke up
Still bored and all alone
I want to kill
And then confess
And sell my soul to whoredom
A hint of life
A sting of death
Just not to feel this boredom.
The pulsating of drums
Inside the emptiness
Of the heart
Finishing a book
And forgetting
(Frustration..
Confusion..)
Its start
Another cup of coffee
Engulped
Not enjoyed
(way too sweet)
The sun overwhelms me
The shade
Spells disaster
And welcoming bed
Brings deceit
I eat off you
I taste your bitter soul
I dig into your thoughts with bare teeth
With dirty fork
In you I make a hole
And we unite in one arrhythmic piece.
Anticipating you. the years disappear
Your essence filling all, anticipating you
Horizon is on fire- unbearable and clear
I wait and love- with yearning pierced through
Horison is on fire- manifistation near
But dreading still : that you will change shape
And raise the ugly, shapeless , vulgar fear
As you replace all sacred with a drape
How then I'll fall- so tragically and low
For not escaping the illusion's storm
Horizon is so bright..and source of light below
But fear stays- that you will change form
what can i say
the words arrive distorted
the space between the heart
and lips- it kills
profused with stale air
framed, filed, sorted
a rushing stream of thought
dissected into stills
on paper, failed hands
translating, thinking
burning
a sickness to create
a passage from inside
and calm, indifferent pen
through fingers- crawling, turning
but to this beast the soul can't confide
and plain cup of tea
with heat and fog enshrouds
the useless fingers,
tired forehead...lips
but i still need for you
under the masks and clouds
to drink my thoughts
before the thin thread rips
never too loud
did i speak to you
cannot break the silence
that holds us two
a secret mute bond
felt through the rim
of air dividing
my lips from ur skin
floating slighlty
unable to land
tracing with wonder
the curve of your hand
it all is unreal
that minutes still crawl
as life dissapears..
and here i fall
inside something soft
and unbearably deep
you live in my dreams
that adorn restless sleep
And if I look inside your eyes
I see the distance
The rocky peaks of your two-timing
Clever game
I try to put a solid veil as
Resistance
But fall into your scheme,
Eternally the same
I don't think you even can recall my name
I'm just like everyone to you
And you are bored
By all familiar forms and shapes
You once adored
There is no rest, no consolation
Anymore
You hate the things you used to love,
So much before
So close your eyes, my darling
Then you'll fall asleep
Maybe your answers hides somewhere
Dark and deep
And when you open your heart
Try to forget
All things you lost, all you regret.
The sharp segments
Of all the words I say
From sunrise
To its downfall
They flutter madly
Scatter
And betray..
Elusive thoughs
Resisting mildly
Give up
Give in
And give away.
Exposed
Salty fears forming
You grin
I stand
You watch
I wait
Anticipation tickles sweetly
I understand
And catch my bait.
She hears sound, turns around
She faces walls of dark-chalk grey,
Her thoughts are with confusion bound
Inside her head, a lump of clay.
He walks behind, has to find
Her footprints in the cold earth,
His heart is tied to her black mind
In her dark night he sees a hearth.
The moon is watching as he's trying
To put his love inside a cage,
They meet, he sees her hope dying,
Again together stuck in rage
I never sleep
I rest with eyes wide open
And spy your every move
Your every breath
Through darkness of the centuries
I envy you
Your sickness still untainted by death.
And as you glide
On ice of wasted moments
The coldness of useless, fading lies
Serene and pure
Guiltless and untouchable
You feel me stalking, waiting
In disguise.
The years pass, but I will
Still be after you
You change masks but I'm keeping
Score
Of all you crimes, fautls
And inconsistencies
A pile grows fast on empty floor.
music
majestic
drowning everything
under its soft, fatalistic embrace
the infinite stars in the sky
spinning lightly
blasting with fury and dying with grace
clocks keeps on ticking
but time is stretching
heavy, it's twisting itself into shapes
with moments merging
and seconds dividing
the space lacking limits and lacking escapes
under this all
sinking into a coma
caved in by the order of sounds and light
with air infused
by damp grass and the ocean
i close my eyes and drift into the night.
As you stand and look around
So untouchable
And elevated from the ground
And resist all my efforts
To bring you to earth
With a dim look on your face
And on red lips, a curse
You will never come down
I have learned it, I cried
Thinking
Dreaming of you
All the things I have tried
Let me be
Set me free
This obsession is dying
All my demons inside
Violated and crying
Handicapped with desire
And revived by the pain
I'm a wreck, you- a liar
Both living- insane.
It was stormy all night
Snow heaps on the floor
And damp cobra-like streets
Block my path to your door
And this stupor of waiting
Made more anxious by fear
That you will not be home
When the roads are clear
And I know youre thinking
Of another this instant
But she dreams of the crowds
With applause strong and distant
Her of them, you of her
And me grasping the rope
If youre home tonight
Ill sleep drunk on a hope
Laughing
Hating
Faking
That your heart is true
Crying
Thinking
Trying
Just to get through you
Dreaming
Wanting
Yearning
For my peace again
Hurting
Dying
Burning
Waiting till the end.
Dreaming black and silver
Lives that fly away
Under your breath
Sounds hitting the brain
Red nightmare turning into purple haze
Pulling your sanity from weak grip
Burning thoughts
Breaking inside your head
Whispers turning
Into screams
And the world merging
Into one steel ball
Rolling over
In weightless space
Crushing you.
I see you moving through the shades of my dream
I hear you laughing but my conscience is dim
When you come near me,
In your dark eyes a gleam
I feel the fire as my thoughts turn to cream.
If you stepped into my parlor of lies
Youll see my every hideaway and disguise
Youd see me naked
Shame in my eyes
Stripped of the cover that sheltered my vice.
Look deep and find
What you came looking for
You must be blind
If you cant see the door
The key is lying on the dusky, dead floor
If you can grab it
Youll see dirt on your sore.
Into the darkness unleash all your demons
Unlock deepest prisons, release hidden rage
This new found freedom, so vast that it chokes
With grip of steel bars holds you in a cage.
Scream into the clouds for someone to hear
Dig into the ground with worn, bleeding hands
This world, an enormously lonely sphere
Keeps you in a vaccum of water and sands..
All that's left for me is one passion
With a whistle to shake the skies
By my crimes and indiscretions
I've been branded in people's eyes
Yes, this loss, such a painful joke
All these jokes fill life to the core
I'm ashamed of the prayers I spoke
Bitter that I can't pray anymore.
Gold lands distant near the clouds
Burned by triteness, retreat in the dark
I have quarelled and sinned in the crowds
To ignite with more lumionous spark
It's a poet's gift and his load
To endear with words and incite.
A white rose with dirty black toad
On this earth I have tried to unite
As those hopes all fell in a hole
To those dreams I have closed the door
But if devils have nested my soul
That means angels were here before.
Taking with me all mirthful chaos
As I finish this crazy ride
At this calm, final moment I'm asking
All those people who stand at my side
That for being a cheat and glutton
For my heresy and my lie
To put me in a shirt of white cotton
Under painted icons to die.
спокойный
в своеи безупречности
увереный в красоте
своего ума
повернувшись задом
к вечности
и фыркнув..что цель
на сегодня одна..
сидит у окна
нафуфыренный
в философии прошлых побед
и выбирает стратегию
вечера..то есть..
девку на первое
друзей на обед
в моей простой кроватке
прикладываю ватки
с холодною водой
к вискам, щекам и щее
чтоб было холоднее
иначе же сгорю я
от страсти, милый мой
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