| | arquivo de frases Recent Comments Facebook 2005-12-25 4:54 PM your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good. samuel johnson although he tortures the English language, he has not et succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. K.B. Morton it's amazing how long it takes to compelte somethjing you're not working on r.d. clyde we all know that prime ministers are wedded to the truth, but like other married couples they sometimes live apart. saki a sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity. Benjamin Disraeli. it's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours he can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met. Lincoln If the Republicans will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them. Adlai Stevenson A politician will double cross that bridge when he comes to it. Oscar Levant Politics is derived from two words - poly, meaning many, and tics, meaning small blood-sucking insects. Chris Clayton in hollywood, marriage is a success if it outlives milk Rita Rudner the weaker sex are the stronger sex because of the weakness of the stronger sex for the weaker sex Anon macho does not prove mucho zsa zsa gabor English is called the mother tongue because father seldom gets the chance to use it Anon It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married Matt Barry life is a sexually transmitted disease Anon Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep Fran Lebowitz Conscience is the inner voice which wars us that somebody may be looking H.L. Mencken If it squirms, it's biology; if it stinks, it's chemistry; if it doesn't work, it's physics and if you can't undersand it, it's mathematics. Magnus Pyke A gossip is one who talks to you about other peiple; a bore is one who talks about himself; a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself. William King He listens to his psychiatrists, and then draws his own confusions. Anon. Good people sleep better than bad people, but bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. Woody Allen. Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labour. John Ciardi Seriousness is stupidity sent to college. P.K. O'Rourke History repeats itself; historians repeat each other. Philip Guedalla As guests go, you wish he would. Anon he has a diarrhea of words and a constipation of ideas Anon I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me Churchill He goes into a bar optimistically, and comes out misty optically. Anon Food is an important part of a balanced diet Fran Lebowitz 2004-05-13 10:31 PM The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity. George Bernard Shaw I know not, Sir, whether Bacon wrote the works of Shakespeare, but if he did not it seems to me that he missed the opportunity of his life. J.M. Barrie (1860-1937) The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he is really very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good. Robert Graves Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. Sam Levenson (1911-1980) Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. G. K. Chesterton I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation. -Shaw I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. -A. Whitney Brown We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller Desde cedo, tive que interromper minha educação para ir à escola Twain "A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer." -- Robert Frost I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead. Allen We should treat all the trivial things of life seriously, and all the serious things of life with sincere and studied triviality Wilde Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art. Tom Stoppard 2004-05-10 10:38 PM Scr 256: 262 --------------------------------------------------------- a man of great common sense and good taste, meaning thereby a man without originality or moral courage. Scr 127: 262 --------------------------------------------------------- APOLLODORUS. Majesty: when a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty. Scr 239: 262 --------------------------------------------------------- RUFIO. Why, I believe it, Caesar. You have convinced me of it long ago. But look you. You are sailing for Numidia today. Now tell me: if you meet a hungry lion there, you will not punish it for wanting to eat you? CAESAR [wondering what he is driving at] No. RUFIO. Nor revenge upon it the blood of those it has already eaten. CAESAR. No. RUFIO. Nor judge it for its guiltiness. CAESAR. No. RUFIO. What, then, will you do to save your life from it? CAESAR [promptly] Kill it, man, without malice, just as it would kill me. What does this parable of the lion mean? Scr 258: 262 --------------------------------------------------------- Originality gives a man an air of frankness, generosity, and magnanimity by enabling him to estimate the value of truth, money, or success in any particular instance quite independently of convention and moral generalization Scr 259: 262 --------------------------------------------------------- He is neither forgiving, frank, nor generous, because a man who is too great to resent has nothing to forgive; a man who says things that other people are afraid to say need be no more frank than Bismarck was; and there is no generosity in giving things you do not want to people of whom you intend to make use. --------------------------------------------------------- Scr 201: 262 --------------------------------------------------------- But when I return to Rome, I will make laws against these extravagances. I will even get the laws carried out. --------------------------------------------------------- Scr 106: 262 --------------------------------------------------------- THEODOTUS [wildly] Will you destroy the past? CAESAR. Ay, and build the future with its ruins --------------------------------------------------------- 2004-05-10 10:42 PM ``A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under his care. '' ``A moderately honest man with a moderately faithful wife, moderate drinkers both, in a moderately healthy house: that is the true middle class unit. '' ``A pessimist thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. '' ``Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended. '' ``Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. '' ``He [the Briton] is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature. '' ``Hell is full of musical amateurs'' ``I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation. '' ``NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Guiseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GUISEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right. '' ``Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it. '' ``The nation's morals are like its teeth: the more decayed they are the more it hurts to touch them. '' ``The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they cant find them make them. '' ``The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. '' ``The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. '' ``The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity. '' ``When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. '' ``The danger in communication is the illusion that it has been accomplished '' 2004-05-10 10:52 PM SHAKESPEARE ANTHONY & CLEOPETRA +++++++++++++++++++ Now boast thee, death, in thy possession lies A lass unparalleld. AS YOU LIKE IT ++++++++++++++ All the worlds a stage, And all the men and women merely players. It was a lover and his lass, With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino. My gracious silence, hail! CORIOLANUS ++++++++++ Boldness be my friend! Arm me, audacity. HAMLET ++++++ A little more than kin, and less than kind. Seems, madam! Nay, it is; I know not seems. How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable Seem to me all the uses of this world. Frailty, thy name is woman! O God! a beast, that wants discourse of reason, Would have mournd longer. It is a custom More honourd in the breach than the observance. There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. The time is out of joint; O cursed spite, That ever I was born to set it right! Brevity is the soul of wit. Though this be madness, yet there is method int. There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. Whats Hecuba to him or he to Hecuba That he should weep for her? The plays the thing Wherein Ill catch the conscience of the king. To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? Suit the action to the word, the word to the action. The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell! I must be cruel only to be kind. How all occasions do inform against me, And spur my dull revenge! Sweets to the sweet: farewell! When sorrows come, they come not single spies, But in battalions. Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. A hit, a very palpable hit. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. Thus conscience doth make cowards of us all; And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied oer with the pale cast of thought. If it be now,tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all. If all the year were playing holidays, To sport would be as tedious as to work. HENRY V +++++++ Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; Or close the wall up with our English dead! I think the king is but a man, as I am: the violet smells to him as it doth to me. If we are markd to die, we are enow To do our country loss; and if to live, The fewer men, the greater share of honour. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers JULIUS CAESAR +++++++++++++ Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once. Cry, Havoc! and let slip the dogs of war. Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them, The good is oft interred with their bones. If you have tears, prepare to shed them now. KING LEAR +++++++++ I am a man More sinned against than sinning. The prince of darkness is a gentleman. MACBETH +++++++ If it were done when tis done, then twere well It were done quickly. The attempt and not the deed, Confounds us. It will have blood, they say; blood will have blood. By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes. Out, damned spot! out, I say! Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him? She should have died hereafter; There would have been a time for such a word, To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow, Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Lifes but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more; it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. MEASURE FOR MEASURE +++++++++++++++++++ Ay, but to die, and go we know not where; To lie in cold obstruction and to rot. MERCHANT OF VENICE ++++++++++++++++++ They are as sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing. God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man. The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose. Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? If you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? and if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? Tell me where is fancy bred. Or in the heart or in the head? And earthly power doth then show likest Gods When mercy seasons justice. A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM +++++++++++++++++++++++++ The course of true love never did run smooth. In maiden meditation, fancy-free. The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact. speak low, if you speak love. MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING ++++++++++++++++++++++ Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, Men were deceivers ever. Comparisons are odorous. OTHELLO +++++++ Your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs. Reputation, reputation, reputation! O! I have lost my reputation. I humbly do beseech you of your pardon For too much loving you. NAO SEI DE ONDE ++++++++++++++ If music be the food of love, play on; Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, The appetite may sicken, and so die. 2004-05-10 10:55 PM HENRY FIELDING --> the opinion of Aristotle; or if not, it is the opinion of some wise man, whose authority will be as weighty when it is as old, "That it is no excuse for a poet who relates what is incredible, that the thing related is really matter of fact." He had been bred, as they call it, a gentleman; that is, bred up to do nothing For men of true learning, and almost universal knowledge, always compassionate the ignorance of others; but fellows who excel in some little, low, contemptible art, are always certain to despise those who are unacquainted with that art for though such great beings think much better and more wisely, they always act exactly like other men. They know very well how to subdue all appetites and passions, and to despise both pain and pleasure; and this knowledge affords much delightful contemplation, and is easily acquired; but the practice would be vexatious and troublesome; and, therefore, the same wisdom which teaches them to know this, teaches them to avoid carrying it into execution. for friendship makes us warmly espouse the interest of others; but it is very cold to the gratification of their passions called love, namely, the desire of satisfying a voracious appetite with a certain quantity of delicate white human flesh "it is as possible for a man to know something without having been at school, as it is to have been at school and to know nothing." with that haughtiness and insolence, which none but those who deserve some contempt themselves can bestow, and those only who deserve no contempt can bear. It is not enough that your designs, nay, that your actions, are intrinsically good; you must take care they shall appear so. with a knowledge which nothing escapes, a penetration which nothing can deceive, and an integrity which nothing can corrupt This poor girl, who was yet but a novice in her business, had not arrived to that perfection of assurance which helps off a town lady in any extremity; and either prompts her with an excuse, or else inspires her to brazen out the matter with her husband, who, from love of quiet, or out of fear of his reputation- and sometimes, perhaps, from fear of the gallant, who, like Mr. Constant in the play, wears a sword- is glad to shut his eyes, and content to put his horns in his pocket. 1750 Now the agonies which affected the mind of Sophia, rather augmented than impaired her beauty; for her tears added brightness to her eyes, and her breasts rose higher with her sighs. Indeed, no one hath seen beauty in its highest lustre who hath never seen it in distress. There are a set of religious, or rather moral writers, who teach that virtue is the certain road to happiness, and vice to misery, in this world. A very wholesome and comfortable doctrine, and to which we have but one objection, namely, that it is not true. 2004-05-10 10:57 PM Fiction is all the better the more it looks like truth, and gives the more pleasure the more probability and possibility there is about it. Plots in fiction should be wedded to the understanding of the reader, and be constructed in such a way that, reconciling impossibilities, smoothing over difficulties, keeping the mind on the alert, they may surprise, interest, divert, and entertain, so that wonder and delight joined may keep pace one with the other, all which he will fail to effect who shuns verisimilitude and truth to nature, wherein lies the perfection of writing. "..it is the business and duty of historians to be exact, truthfull, and wholly free from passion, and neither interest nor fear, hatred nor love, should make them swerve from the path of truth, whose mother is history, rival of time, storehouse of deeds, witness for the past, example and counsel for the present, and warning for the future. There is no need for you to go a-begging for aphorisms from philosophers, precepts from Holy Scripture, fables from poets, speeches from orators, or miracles from saints; but merely to take care that your style and diction run musically, pleasantly, and plainly, with clear, proper, and well-placed words, setting forth your purpose to the best of your power, and putting your ideas intelligibly, without confusion or obscurity. Strive, too, that in reading your story the melancholy may be moved to laughter, and the merry made merrier still; that the simple shall not be wearied. that the judicious shall admire the invention, and the grave shall not despise it, nor the wise fail to praise it. 2004-05-09 10:47 AM Como um católico babaca gordo consegue produzir frases tão legais é pra mim um dos grandes mistérios da humanidade. Imagina se ele fosse magro e ateu! Twenty million women rose to their feet with the cry "We will not be dictated to," and promptly became stenographers. By a curious confusion, many modern critics have passed from the proposition that a masterpiece may be unpopular to the other proposition that unless it is unpopular it cannot be a masterpiece. G. K. Chesterton Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. G. K. Chesterton Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. G. K. Chesterton Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up. G. K. Chesterton Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions. G. K. Chesterton I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. G. K. Chesterton I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite. G. K. Chesterton It is not bigotry to be certain we are right; but it is bigotry to be unable to imagine how we might possibly have gone wrong. G. K. Chesterton Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive. G. K. Chesterton The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. G. K. Chesterton To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it. G. K. Chesterton What a glorious garden of wonders the lights of Broadway would be to anyone lucky enough to be unable to read. G.K. Chesterton I have a notion that the real advice I could give to a young journalist is simply this: to write an article for the Sporting Times and one for the Church Times and put them in the wrong envelopes. . . What is really the matter with almost every paper, is that it is much too full of things suitable to the paper G.K. Chesterton A large section of the intelligentsia seems wholly devoid of intelligence. G.K. Chesterton Psychoanalysis is confession without absolution. G.K. Chesterton I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles. G.K. Chesterton Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and therefore congenial to it. G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936) I still believe in liberalism today as much as I ever did, but, oh, there was a happy time when I believed in liberals... G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936) As regards moral courage, then, it is not so much that the public schools support it feebly, as that they suppress it firmly. G. K. Chesterton For in all legends men have thought of women as sublime separately but horrible in a herd. G. K. Chesterton Impartiality is a pompous name for indifference, which is an elegant name for ignorance. A detective story generally describes six living men discussing how it is that a man is dead. A modern philosophic story generally describes six dead men discussing how any man can possibly be alive The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected Truth is sacred; and if you tell the truth too often nobody will believe it For my part, I would have no executions except by the mob; or, at least, by the people acting quite exceptionally. I would make capital punishment impossible except by act of attainder. Then there would be some chance of a few of our real oppressors getting hanged Modern man is staggering and losing his balance because he is being pelted with little pieces of alleged fact which are native to the newspapers; and, if they turn out not to be facts, that is still more native to newspapers The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense Religious liberty might be supposed to mean that everybody is free to discuss religion. In practice it means that hardly anybody is allowed to mention it 2004-05-09 2:36 PM Edgar Allan Poe: I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence. Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. The pleasures of love are pains that become desirable, where sweetness and torment blend, and so love is voluntary insanity, infernal paradise, and celestial hell -- in short, harmony of opposite yearnings, sorrowful laughter, soft diamond. -- The Island of the Day Before, Chapter 28 If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none. Mel Brooks (1926-____) US comedian, producer, director I don't necessarily agree with everything I say. ~Marshall McLuhan If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. ~Anatole France If you keep doing things like you've always done them, what you'll get is what you've already got. ~Unknown The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. ~Paul Fix "As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest blabbers." -- Plato "Anybody who thinks of going to bed before 12 o'clock is a scoundrel." -- Samuel Johnson "All I ask of my body is that it carry around my head." -- Thomas Alva Edison "A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer." -- Robert Frost "A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street." -- Doug Linder The phrases men are accustomed to repeat incessantly, end by becoming convictions and ossify the organs of intelligence. -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Whenever I hear people talking about "liberal ideas," I am always astounded that men should love to fool themselves with empty sounds. An idea should never be liberal; it must be vigorous, positive, and without loose ends so that it may fulfill its divine mission and be productive. The proper place for liberality is in the realm of the emotions. goethe True wit is nature to advantage drest; What oft was thought, but ne'er so well exprest. -Alexander Pope Always behave like a duck- keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath. -- Jacob Braude Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car. -- Laurence J. Peter What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the wish to find out, which is the exact opposite. -- Bertrand Russell The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working when you get up in the morning, and doesn't stop until you get to the office. Either write something worth reading or . . . do something worth writing A lover without indiscretion is no lover at all. ``A friend is someone who knows all about you, and loves you just the same. '' ``Adultery is the application of democracy to love. '' Grub first, then ethics. brecht What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank? brecht Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education. -- Bertrand Russell Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. "Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored." - Aldous Huxley I don't care to belong to any organization that accepts me as a member. -- Groucho Marx Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. -- Groucho Marx Host: "I'm a big fan of yours, Groucho." Groucho: "If it gets any hotter in here I could use a big fan." "I never forget a face. However, in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception." Never lend books, for no one ever returns them. The only books I have in my library are books that other folks have leant me. Anatole France When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it. Anatole France "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth." - Benjamin Disraeli "The difference between a misfortune and a calamity? If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, it would be a calamity." -- Benjamin Disraeli There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics "Like all great travellers, I have seen more than I remember and remember more than I have seen." Benjamin Disraeli I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them. Jane Austen (1775-1817) - English author Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure that there is one rascal less in the world. carlyle "Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman." - Woody Allen. Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things. woody I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead. allen My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. -- Woody Allen I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. -- Woody Allen More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. -- Woody Allen It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it. -La Rochefoucauld 2004-05-09 2:38 PM A fools brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education He who confuses political liberty with freedom and political equality with similarity has never thought for five minutes about either. Happiness and Beauty are by-products Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity; and fashion will drive them to acquire any custom. I find that socialism is often misunderstood by its least intelligent supporters and opponents to mean simply unrestrained indulgence of our natural propensity to heave bricks at respectable persons do Pygmallion My manners are exactly the same as Colonel Pickering's. 180 LIZA. Thats not true. He treats a flower girl as if she was a duchess. HIGGINS. And I treat a duchess as if she was a flower girl. do Man& superman TANNER. My dear Tavy, your pious English habit of regarding the world as a moral gymnasium built expressly to strengthen your character in, occasionally leads you to think about your own confounded principles when you should be thinking about other peoples necessities I have become a reformer, and, like all reformers, an iconoclast. I no longer break cucumber frames and burn gorse bushes: I shatter creeds and demolish idols. 330 ANN [bored] I am afraid I am too feminine to see any sense in destruction. Destruction can only destroy. 331 TANNER. Yes. That is why it is so useful. Construction cumbers the ground with institutions made by busybodies. Destruction clears it and gives us breathing space and liberty. 332 ANN. Its no use, Jack. No woman will agree with you there. 333 TANNER. Thats because you confuse construction and destruction with creation and murder. Theyre quite different: I adore creation and abhor murder. if theres no harm in it theres no point in doing it. TANNER [impatiently] Oh, tell him, tell him. We shall never be able to keep the secret unless everybody knows what it is. Brigandage is abnormal. Abnormal professions attract two classes: those who are not good enough for ordinary bourgeois life and those who are too good for it. We are dregs and scum, sir: the dregs very filthy, the scum very superior. Ah, sir, how the words of Shakespear seem to fit every crisis in our emotions! "Look at me! I have no conscience, and see how much pleasanter I am!" Ugh! Serve you right for getting married. I wonder how people can be so mad as to do it, with the example of their married acquaintances all warning them against it." "I have observed that Woman's dearest delight is to wound Man's self-conceit, though Man's dearest delight is to gratify hers." Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career THE DEVIL. What is the use of knowing? 508 DON JUAN. Why, to be able to choose the line of greatest advantage instead of yielding in the direction of the least resistance The true artist will let his wife starve, his children go barefoot, his mother drudge for his living at seventy, sooner than work at anything but his art The many who believe they are the wiser for reading accounts of experiments deceive themselves. It is as impossible to learn science from theory as to gain wisdom from proverbs. Ah, it is so easy to follow a line of argument, and so difficult to grasp the facts that underlie it! and the man who does not wish to be born again and born better is fit only to represent the City of London in Parliament, or perhaps the university of Oxford. Less imaginative but equally dishonest people told me I should go to hell if I did not make myself agreeable to them. Bodily violence, provided it be the hasty expression of normal provoked resentment and not vicious cruelty, cannot harm a child as this sort of pious fraud harms it. Beware of the man whose god is in the skies. The relation of master and servant is advantageous only to masters who do not scruple to abuse their authority, and to servants who do not scruple to abuse their trust Your word can never be as good as your bond, because your memory can never be as trustworthy as your honor. Titles distinguish the mediocre, embarrass the superior, and are disgraced by the inferior. 66 When a man wants to murder a tiger he calls it sport: when the tiger wants to murder him he calls it ferocity. The distinction between Crime and Justice is no greater. A learned man is an idler who kills time with study. Beware of his false knowledge: it is more dangerous than ignorance 2004-05-09 10:28 PM Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history. George Bernard Shaw It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. George Bernard Shaw Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard Shaw The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a drunken man is happier than a sober one. George Bernard Shaw Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. George Bernard Shaw I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize. George Bernard Shaw When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. George Bernard Shaw My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity. George Bernard Shaw My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world. George Bernard Shaw The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. George Bernard Shaw He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. George Bernard Shaw I make a fortune from criticizing the policy of the government, and then hand it over to the government in taxes to keep it going. George Bernard Shaw Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something very clever when they are only wasting their time. George Bernard Shaw A dramatic critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned. George Bernard Shaw I was brought up in that other service; but I knew from the first that the Devil was my natural master and captain and friend. I saw that he was in the right, and that the world cringed to his conqueror only from fear. George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), "The Devil's Diciple" If you leave the smallest corner of your mind open for a moment, other people's opinions will rush in from all quarters. George Bernard Shaw 2004-05-08 2:18 PM Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. --Lord Acton Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. --Voltaire I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. --Woody Allen, on the KKK The first casualty when war comes is truth. --Hiram Johnson You should never have your best trousers on when you turn out to fight for freedom and truth. --Henrik Ibsen Pro is to con as progress is to congress. --Unknown We live under a government of men and morning newspapers. --Wendell Phillips This country has come to feel the same when congress is in session as when a baby gets hold of a hammer. --Will Rogers Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he doesn't become a monster. --Nietsche 2004-05-08 2:22 PM All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates. (Woody Allen) ... for the 5th dimension ...you can travel through space without having to go the long way around...In other words a straight line is not the shortest distance between two points. -Madeleine L'Engle All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. TOLSTOY Some folks rail against other folks, because other folks have what some folks would be glad of. FIELDING Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art. Tom Stoppard (1937 - ) I never read a book before reviewing it; it prejudices a man so. -REVD SYDNEY SMITH "You must write for children in the same way as you do for adults, only better." MAXIM GORKY Nothing is more revolting than the majority; for it consists of few vigorous predecessors, of knaves who accommodate themselves, of weak people who assimilate themselves, and the mass that toddles after them without knowing in the least what it wants. - Goethe alexander pope Sir, I admit your gen'ral rule That every poet is a fool; But you yourself may serve to show it, That every fool is not a poet. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. I think all this talk about age is foolish. Every time I'm one year older, everyone else is too. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? 2004-05-08 2:44 PM Do not love your neighbor as yourself. If you are on good terms with yourself it is an impertinence: if on bad, an injury. 3 The golden rule is that there are no golden rules. Activity is the only road to knowledge. Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity It is not necessary to replace a guillotined criminal: it is necessary to replace a guillotined social system Virtue consists, not in abstaining from vice, but in not desiring it. Self-denial is not a virtue: it is only the effect of prudence on rascality. Obedience simulates subordination as fear of the police simulates honesty Disobedience, the rarest and most courageous of the virtues, is seldom distinguished from neglect, the laziest and commonest of the vices. The difference between the shallowest routineer and the deepest thinker appears, to the latter, trifling; to the former, infinite. The most intolerable pain is produced by prolonging the keenest pleasure In an ugly and unhappy world the richest man can purchase nothing but ugliness and unhappiness The unconscious self is the real genius. Your breathing goes wrong the moment your conscious self meddles with it. Decency is Indecencys Conspiracy of Silence. No age or condition is without its heroes. The least incapable general in a nation is its Cæsar, the least imbecile statesman its Solon, the least confused thinker its Socrates, the least commonplace poet its Shakespear. He who gives money he has not earned is generous with other peoples labor. Home is the girls prison and the womans workhouse. Do not waste your time on Social Questions. What is the matter with the poor is Poverty: what is the matter with the rich is Uselessness. 2004-05-08 3:46 PM ``A child of five would understand this. Send somebody to fetch a child of five! '' grouxo ``From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. '' grouxo ``I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. '' grouxo ``I wasn't kissing her, I was just whispering in her mouth. '' grouxo ``I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. '' grouxo ``Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. '' grouxo ``My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days bath September' because it actually tells you something. '' grouxo ``Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. '' grouxo ``Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. '' grouxo ``Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies. '' grouxo ``TV - a clever contraction derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville ... we call it a medium because nothing's well done. '' grouxo ``Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. '' grouxo How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them grouxo I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book grouxo Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana grouxo Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. grouxo Now there's a man with an open mind ; you can feel the breeze from here! grouxo Time wounds all heels grouxo Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? grouxo It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt (originally due to Samuel Johnson) ((tb vi essa frase creditada a mark twain)) --------------------- man & superman it is out of the deadliest struggles that we get the noblest characters. 185 TANNER. Remember that the next time you meet a grizzly bear or a Bengal tiger, Tavy. 186 OCTAVIUS. I meant where there is love, Jack. 187 TANNER. Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no love sincerer than the love of food. I think Ann loves you that way: she patted your cheek as if it were a nicely underdone chop. TANNER. My dear Tavy, your pious English habit of regarding the world as a moral gymnasium built expressly to strengthen your character in, occasionally leads you to think about your own confounded principles when you should be thinking about other peoples necessities The mason, after hesitating a long time between two-pounds-ten and five pounds, was emboldened by a fellow-workman, who treated him to some hot whiskey and water, to name the larger sum. Trefusis paid the money at once, and then set himself to find out how much a similar design would have cost from the hands of an eminent Royal Academician. Happening to know a gentleman in this position, he consulted him, and was informed that the probable cost would be from five hundred to one thousand pounds. Trefusis expressed his opinion that the mason's charge was the more reasonable, somewhat to the indignation of his artist friend, who reminded him of the years which a Royal Academician has to spend in acquiring his skill. Trefusis mentioned that the apprenticeship of a mason was quite as long, twice as laborious, and not half so pleasant. The artist now began to find Trefusis's Socialistic views, with which he had previously fancied himself in sympathy, both odious and dangerous. He demanded whether nothing was to be allowed for genius. Trefusis warmly replied that genius cost its possessor nothing; that it was the inheritance of the whole race incidentally vested in a single individual, and that if that individual employed his monopoly of it to extort money from others, he deserved nothing better than hanging. The artist lost his temper, and suggested that if Trefusis could not feel that the prerogative of art was divine, perhaps he could understand that a painter was not such a fool as to design a tomb for five pounds when he might be painting a portrait for a thousand. Trefusis retorted that the fact of a man paying a thousand pounds for a portrait proved that he had not earned the money, and was therefore either a thief or a beggar. The common workman who sacrificed sixpence from his week's wages for a cheap photograph to present to his sweetheart, or a shilling for a pair of chromolithographic pictures or delft figures to place on his mantelboard, suffered greater privation for the sake of possessing a work of art than the great landlord or shareholder who paid a thousand pounds, which he was too rich to miss, for a portrait that, like Hogarth's Jack Sheppard, was only interesting to students of criminal physiognomy. A lively quarrel ensued, Trefusis denouncing the folly of artists in fancying themselves a priestly caste when they were obviously only the parasites and favored slaves of the moneyed classes, and his friend (temporarily his enemy) sneering bitterly at levellers who were for levelling down instead of levelling up. Finally, tired of disputing, and remorseful for their acrimony, they dined amicably together. POE: I felt that I breathed an atmosphere of sorrow. An air of stern, deep, and irredeemable gloom hung over and pervaded all. No pestilence had ever been so fatal or so hideous, blood was it's Avatar and it's seal the horror and redness of death. He had come like a thief in the night. ANd one by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. And the flames of the tripod expired. And darkness and Decay and the red death held illimitable dominion over all. Tennyson.. To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. Faultily faultless, icily regular, splendidly null. There lives more faith in honest doubt, Believe me, than in half the creeds. 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all Sine gave at first for wits, then poets pass'd Turn'd critics next, and prov'd plain fools at last. pope 2004-05-08 10:32 PM Go directly; see what she's doing, and tell her she mustn't -punch Advice to persons about to marry. 'Don't'. -PUNCH It dosesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find next morning that it was someone else. -SAMUEL ROGERS Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best ALLEN If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome: if you believe the theologians, nothing is innocent: if you believe the soldiers, nothing is safe. -LORD SALISBURY Television? The word is half Latin and half Greek. No good can come of it. C.P. SCOTT An ambassador is an honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country. SIR HENRY WOTTON A Christian is a man who feels Repentance on a Sunday For what he did on Saturday And is going to do on Monday THOMAS RUSSEL YBARRA "Patriotism is the veneration of real estate above principles." -- George Jean Nathan It's inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. ibsen Against the beautiful and the clever and the successful, one can wage a pitiless war, but not against the ugly. -graham greene I took thought, and invented what I conceived to be the appropriate title of agnostic. T. H. HUXLEY It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions. T. H. HUXLEY To be totally understanding makes one very indulgent. -MME DE STAËL When my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her, though I know she lies. -Shakespeare The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. - Anonymous history is written by the victors anxious to boast of their triumphs, to magnify their successes, and to denigrate the enemy. -cervantes To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. wilde 2004-05-08 10:35 PM He never does a proper thing without giving an improper reason for it. Shaw, George Bernard Major Barbara, III, 1907 Mark Twain and I are in the same position. We have to put things in such a way as to make people, who would otherwise hang us, believe that we are joking. George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) I quite agree with you, sir, but what can two do against so many? Responding to a solitary hiss heard amongst the applause at the first performance of Arms and the Man in 1894 Certainly, there is nothing else here to enjoy. Said at a party when his hostess asked him whether he was enjoying himself Pass the Port (Oxfam) Youth, which is forgiven everything, forgives itself nothing: age, which forgives itself anything, is forgiven nothing. Every man over 40 is a scoundrel. Love is the gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everyone else. SHAW The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post. SHAW An Englishman thinks he is moral when he is only uncomfortable. OCTAVIUS. Oh, Jack, you talk of saving me from my highest happiness. 78 TANNER. Yes, a lifetime of happiness. If it were only the first half hours happiness, Tavy, I would buy it for you with my last penny. But a lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth. No Shame RAMSDEN [very deliberately] Mr Tanner: you are the most impudent person I have ever met. 98 TANNER [seriously] I know it, Ramsden. Yet even I cannot wholly conquer shame. We live in an atmosphere of shame. We are ashamed of everything that is real about us; ashamed of ourselves, of our relatives, of our incomes, of our accents, of our opinions, of our experience, just as we are ashamed of our naked skins. Good Lord, my dear Ramsden, we are ashamed to walk, ashamed to ride in an omnibus, ashamed to hire a hansom instead of keeping a carriage, ashamed of keeping one horse instead of two and a groom-gardener instead of a coachman and footman. The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is. Why, youre ashamed to buy my book, ashamed to read it: the only thing youre not ashamed of is to judge me for it without having read it; and even that only means that youre ashamed to have heterodox opinions. Look at the effect I produce because my fairy godmother withheld from me this gift of shame. I have every possible virtue that a man can have except 99 RAMSDEN. I am glad you think so well of yourself. 100 TANNER. All you mean by that is that you think I ought to be ashamed of talking about my virtues. You dont mean that I havnt got them: you know perfectly well that I am as sober and honest a citizen as yourself, as truthful personally, and much more truthful politically and morally. 101 RAMSDEN [touched on his most sensitive point] I deny that. I will not allow you or any man to treat me as if I were a mere member of the British public. I detest its prejudices; I scorn its narrowness; I demand the right to think for myself. You pose as an advanced man. Let me tell you that I was an advanced man before you were born. 102 TANNER. I knew it was a long time ago. 103 RAMSDEN. I am as advanced as ever I was. I defy you to prove that I have ever hauled down the flag. I am more advanced than ever I was. I grow more advanced every day. 104 TANNER. More advanced in years, Polonius. 105 RAMSDEN. Polonius! So you are Hamlet, I suppose. 106 TANNER. No: I am only the most impudent person youve ever met. Thats your notion of a thoroughly bad character. When you want to give me a piece of your mind, you ask yourself, as a just and upright man, what is the worst you can fairly say to me. Thief, liar, forger, adulterer, perjurer, glutton, drunkard? Not one of these names fits me. You have to fall back on my deficiency in shame. Well, I admit it. I even congratulate myself; for if I were ashamed of my real self, I should cut as stupid a figure as any of the rest of you. Cultivate a little impudence, Ramsden; and you will become quite a remarkable man. 107 RAMSDEN. I have no 108 TANNER. You have no desire for that sort of notoriety. Bless you, I knew that answer would come as well as I know that a box of matches will come out of an automatic machine when I put a penny in the slot: you would be ashamed to say anything else. PICKERING. Excuse me, Higgins; but I really must interfere. Mrs. Pearce is quite right. If this girl is to put herself in your hands for six months for an experiment in teaching, she must understand thoroughly what shes doing. 135 HIGGINS. How can she? Shes incapable of understanding anything. Besides, do any of us understand what we are doing? If we did, would we ever do it? She should think of the future. HIGGINS. At her age! Nonsense! Time enough to think of the future when you havnt any future to think of. No, Eliza: do as this lady does: think of other people's futures; but never think of your own "Ah, you remember that, do you? Whenever you hear a man talking about the stars you may conclude that he is either an astronomer or a fool. But you and a fine starry night would make a fool of any man." "You will find three classes of men polite to you--slaves, men who think much of their manners and nothing of you, and your lovers. I believe there is some misunderstanding between us, and it is the trick of your sex to perpetuate misunderstandings by forbidding all allusions to them. I have only one article of belief, which is, that the sole refiner of human nature is fine art." "Whereas I believe that the sole refiner of art is human nature. "I see that your principles are those of the Church of England. You allow the students the right of private judgment on condition that they arrive at the same conclusions as you "Bosh!" said Agatha. "People always grow tired of one another. I grow tired of myself whenever I am left alone for ten minutes, and I am certain that I am fonder of myself than anyone can be of another person." "Look at me! I have no conscience, and see how much pleasanter I am!" MENDOZA [advancing between Violet and Tanner] Sir: there are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your hearts desire. The other is to gain it. Mine and yours, sir. VIOLET. What is the use of having money if you have to work for it? THE DEVIL. Whatever they may say of me in churches on earth, I know that it is universally admitted in good society that the Prince of Darkness is a gentleman; and that is enough for me "There goes a true woman," he said. "I have been persuading her to take the very best step open to her. I began by talking sense, like a man of honor, and kept at it for half an hour, but she would not listen to me. Then I talked romantic nonsense of the cheapest sort for five minutes, and she consented with tears in her eyes. Agatha was struck with remorse. "That was a vile thing for me to say," she said; "and for you too." "Whatever is true is to the purpose, vile or not." "Really! What are you reading?" "Rubbish, you said just now. A novel." "That is, a lying story of two people who never existed, and who would have acted very differently if they had existed." All the arbitrators agreed that this was monstrous, whereupon I contended that if they denied my right to the value in exchange, they must admit my right to the value in use. They assented to this after putting off their decision for a fortnight in order to read Adam Smith and discover what on earth I meant by my values in use and exchange. My pictures stick in the mind longer than your scratchy etchings, or the leaden things in which you fancy you see tender harmonies in gray. Erskine's next drama may be about liberty, but its Patriot Martyrs will have something better to do than spout balderdash against figure-head kings who in all their lives never secretly plotted as much dastardly meanness, greed, cruelty, and tyranny as is openly voted for in London by every half-yearly meeting of dividend-consuming vermin whose miserable wage-slaves drudge sixteen hours out of the twenty-four." DON JUAN. why should I be civil to them or to you? In this Palace of Lies a truth or two will not hurt you. Your friends are all the dullest dogs I know. They are not beautiful: they are only decorated. They are not clean: they are only shaved and starched. They are not dignified: they are only fashionably dressed. They are not educated: they are only college passmen. They are not religious: they are only pewrenters. They are not moral: they are only conventional. They are not virtuous: they are only cowardly. They are not even vicious: they are only frail. They are not artistic: they are only lascivious. They are not prosperous: they are only rich. They are not loyal, they are only servile; not dutiful, only sheepish; not public spirited, only patriotic; not courageous, only quarrelsome; not determined, only obstinate; not masterful, only domineering; not self-controlled, only obtuse; not self-respecting, only vain; not kind, only sentimental; not social, only gregarious; not considerate, only polite; not intelligent, only opinionated; not progressive, only factious; not imaginative, only superstitious; not just, only vindictive; not generous, only propitiatory; not disciplined, only cowed; and not truthful at all: liars every one of them, to the very backbone of their souls. 2004-05-07 6:45 PM If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. -Gil Atkinson- Success is measured by the way your child describes you when talking to a friend. -Martin Baxbaum- Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. -Hector Berlioz- Half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough. -Josh Billings- The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on. -Robert Bloch- I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. -A. Whitney Brown After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. -Cato the Elder- You can only find truth with logic if you have already found it without it. -G.K. Chesterton- You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there. -Edwin Louis Cole- Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great. -Comte DeBussy- We are all pilgrims on the same journey - but some pilgrims have better road maps than others. -Nelson DeMille- We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. -Phyllis Diller- 2004-05-07 6:52 PM Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written. Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. I am not young enough to know everything. America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language. only shallow people do not judge by appearances. I never approve, or disapprove, of anything now. It is an absurd attitude to take towards life. We are not sent into the world to air our moral prejudices. I never take any notice of what common people say, and I never interfere with what charming people do. Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. Life is far too important to be taken seriously. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Education is an admirable thing. But it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you place the blame. Men wants to be a woman's first love. Women wants to be a man's last romance. Women begin by resisting a man's advances and end up blocking his retreat. One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life. The well-bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves. Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people. Literature always anticipates life. It does not copy it, but moulds it to its purpose. The nineteenth century, as we know it, is largely an invention of Balzac. I love acting. It is so much more real than life. I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. Between men and woman there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. The truth is rarely pure and never simple. There is no sin except stupidity. Disobedience, in the eyes of anyone who has read history, is man's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion. I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about. 2004-05-07 10:36 PM It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. --Mark Twain Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. -- Mark Twain "Teoria é quando se sabe tudo e nada funciona. Prática é quando tudo funciona e ninguém sabe por quê. Nesta Universidade, conjugam-se teoria e prática: nada funciona e ninguém sabe o porquê." ``There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press. '' ``Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. '' ``In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents? '' ``I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it. '' ``I believe I have no prejudices whatsoever. All I need to know is that a man is a member of the human race, and that's bad enough for me. '' `` A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling by Mark Twain For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" - bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez - tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld. '' It is not best that we all should think alike, it is differences of opinion that make horse races. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself. "When in doubt, tell the truth." Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to. The report of my death was an exaggeration. Familiarity breeds contempt - and children A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow Wagner's music is better than it sounds I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform I have never let my schooling interfere with my education What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before. When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting Golf is a good walk spoiled If I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent out Texas | | |
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