<font size="+2"><b>Spin (Magazine) : Craig Nicholls || How To Be A Rock God (Date Unknown)</b></font>

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<font color="#F15E05"><big><b>How to be a rock god</b></big></font>
Craig Nicholls, bad-boy singer of Australian rockers
the Vines, breaks it down <font color="#808080">By Marc Spitz</font>

<font color="#808080"><b>God bless the Vines' Craig Nicholls.</b></font> Not since Kurt Cobain has an eccentric young rock star reacted to sudden success by acting out with such irresistible anticharm.
Indulged by his label, beloved by his fans, avoided by his bandmates, and fueled by a whole lotta weed, Nicholls is adhering to the age-old script perfectly (although he has wisely eschewed a pesky smack habit in favor of a bad jones for McDonald's cheeseburgers). In New York for the taping of an August episode of the <i>Late Show With David Letterman</i>, Nicholls expertly raced through the classic rock-star rules in two hours flat:

1. <b>BE CRYPTIC</b>
Get a rep for golden-god excess, then confuse interviewers by acting shy. Nicholls is excellent at staring at the floor. "I have our whole second album in my head," he says quietly. "I just want to make music. When we did the first album, I didn't count on all this." He pauses to stare at the floor some more.

2. <b>FUEL YOURSELF WITH GREASE AND CHEMICALS</b>
But only if your metabolism is so high that you remain very skinny. "I like KFC, any junk food," Nicholls says, in response to a widespread rumor that he consumes only McDonald's. "I like Wendy's, too." He stares at the food platters in this dressing room. "We never eat grapes, but we like cookies."

3. <b>SMASH THOSE BLUES AWAY</b>
The Vines end virtually every one of their tight, two-and-a-half-minute songs with another two-and-a-half minutes of false endings, feedback, crazed ballet, and the ritualistic destruction of drummer Hamish Rosser's kit. Even during their <i>Letterman</i> sound check for "Get Free," they howl unintelligibly into the microphones, conjuring painful feedback from the amps, and Nicholls collapses in a twitching heap, to the astonishment of the tech crew. Why? "Probably because we're bored," Nicholls says with a shrug.

4. <b>PASSIONATELY INDULGE YOUR VICES</b>
"I watch a lot of TV and sleep a lot," Nicholls says, cradling a Rasta-worthy joint. When asked whether he smokes pot religiously, he says, "I'm afraid the police are going to come through the door. Just say I don't inhale everyday. I think I'll probably quit smoking cigarettes when we go back to the studio. I'll have too much to do with my hands." Nicholls then proceeds to stare at the floor.

5. <b>SPIT IN THE FACE OF SOCIAL CONVENTION</b>
During sound check, Nicholls chain-smokes despite the clearly posted "No Smoking" signs. He further annoys the show's staffers with his customized T-shirt, which has the word <i>sux</i> scrawled in Sharpie marker underneath <i>NEW YORK CITY</i>. "He's a handful today," a label publicist says through clenched teeth. When asked about his shirt, Nicholls stares at it for a moment and says, "A friend of mine drew it on. I'm going to change it before the show." <i>Late Show</i> producer Barbara Gaines ducks into the dressing room, presumably to make sure this happens.

6. <b>INSTILL FEAR IN ROCK WRITERS</b>
Following the sound check, Nicholls retires to his private dressing room to listen to the new London Suede album. Bassist Patrick Matthews, second guitarist Ryan Griffiths, and Rosser chat amiably with their label reps, fans, and rock journalists. "Will you be joining us for the interview?" I ask Matthews. "No," he answers, with a friendly but forbidding grin. "But don't worry, though. Craig probably won't attack you."

7. <b>MAKE A LASTING IMPRESSION ON YOUR ELDERS</b>
During the taping of "Get Free," Nicholls pulls off his guitar and hurls it inches away from Rosser's head, prompting David Letterman to wonder aloud if the "troubled teen" was suffering from West Nile virus. Nicholls doesn't stick around long enough to answer. <b><big>•</big></b>