I depend on music a lot at times like this... sometimes you just have that one song which says it all. I found that song... by one of my favorite Taiwanese artist 陶喆. The song is called "普通朋友" It's better than just *sigh* I guess... at least it also gives me more to do...

W.

Too many thoughts, too much emotion, trying to make sense out of my life... and all I did these days is to keep myself as distracted as I can to stop myself from thinking... wasting time...

I feel really confused and I feel that darkness inside me is devouring me slowly. I need to prevent myself doing anything stupid and hurt others. I feel that I need to be somewhere else and start fresh again... and I know that would be simply running away from the problem. I feel that I might have promise something that I might not able to keep this time. Perhaps it's just a temporary feeling... that's my hope... It's just so dark and I feel that I am becoming someone else. I need a reset...

What's the next step... I have no idea... All I know is that who I don't want to be. Give me strength, Rita... I need someone to carry me through this.

Jeff